Friday, January 06, 2006

Celebrity Big Blogger

Series 4.

So I've never watched a series of Big Brother (celebrity or 'little people') but finally thought I'd give this one a bash. I'll have to follow it on t'internet like as i can't get Channel 4 over here in cloggy land. Maybe a good thing so I can't see how annoying the knobs really are.

Anyway introducing the 11 housemates (10 celebs + 1 ringer)

Faria Alam (39)- some PA who slept with first her boss, (head of the FA) then Sven-Goran Eriksson, should be a prime candidate for a shag if there is any father figures in the house.

Dennis Rodman, (44)- Yank basketball star, swaggers like a rapper.

George Galloway, (51)- Scottish MP for Bethnall Green. Look out Faria!

Jodie Marsh, (27)- 'Glamour Girl' / Slapper (poor Jodie was booed as she entered the house) ahhhhh.

Rula Lenska, (57)- Actress, describes herself as passionate, romantic and slightly eccentric. "I don't want to be somebody who is regarded as a weirdo," she says.

Pete Burns, (46)- Singer from Dead or Alive. Now fully-fledged transvestite. Wears more lippie than Jodi and Traci together.

Maggot, (24)- Maggot.

Traci Bingham, (37)- Former baywatch babe and model from USA star of classics such as "Lingerie bowl, Malibooty, Battlebots and Stripmall" - she will be getting her chebs out.

Preston, (23)- Lead singer of 'The ordinary boys' - On their website he has made an announcement "I'm going in because the lines between mainstream and alternative are so blurred this is the final taboo" - Obviously scared of losing his fans who are under the delusion they are alternative. Unfortunately you are ordinary boys!

Michael Barrymore, (53) - And finally, Mr Barrymore, the main reason i thought I'd watch for once. Michael has been exiled in the outback, since an incident with his swimming pool. A 31 year old man was found dead and had 'horrific anal injuries and drugs in his system' . Barrymore fled the scene, but after the inquest an 'open' verdict was passed. Bazza fled the country after his career fled his CV. So he's back......will he crack?

Oh forgot there is one more Chantelle, a blond ringer who is not really a celeb at all. Endemol thought it would be a wheeze to see if they could have a little person fool the celebs. She has to pretend she's in a girl band called 'Kandy Floss'. So should be pretty easy to pull off with all the unknown girl bands around. I'm sure 1/2 of the housemates haven't heard of George so why would it be so incredible to not know one of the others. The quality publication the Sun is already asking readers for dirt on Chantelle so I'm sure we'll find out a lot more about her soon. She is from Essex after all.

It's now early morning Day 2 in the house and nothing much has happened, apart from Dennis trying to pull Chantelle, and Barrymore showing some early signs of obsessive behaviour.

22 days to go.........

Update 12th . Jan. 2006 - Day 8 - George, Jodie and Pete are up for eviction tomorrow night. Looking very much like Jodie will go.

Update 14th Jan 2006 - Day 10 - Jodie is evicted ; Asked whether admitting that she likes a finger up the bum might have been sharing a bit much, Jodie makes to say something, goes a bit quiet and self conscious, then blushes and wiggles in her chair. Jodie: "But I do! Look it's 2006, why can't a woman admit to liking sex? With me what you see is what you get."

Update 18th Jan 2006 - Day 14 - Faria is evicted.

Update 21st Jan 2006 - Day 16 - Rula Evicted. The 'Mature' lady of the house is out on her arse. Seems the ladies are disappearing fast. Tell you the truth I'm totally losing interest. There again I am only an internet voyeur, never see the actual show.

Update 28th Jan 2006 - The End - Chantelle the fake celeb wins, she was paid around 25,000 while most celebs were getting up to 125,000. Remind me never to watch or follow this shit again.

Interesting fact: Did you know Big Brother was a Dutch creation, brought to the screens by endemol a joint venture by Joop van den Ende Productions and John de Mol Produkties


The New Dutchman said...
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The New Dutchman said...

I have to admit I watched it. I haven't watched anything BB since the first Dutch one ('99?). Nevertheless it was mildly entertaining. I must say I find that Galloway a twat. He thought he could air his political views to a larger public on tv. However, the only thing that's being discussed is group sex (courtesy of Rodman and those floosies), and in the meantime his constituency is left without a MP! Sad, very sad.

Polarbear said...

poor old Bethnall Green. Well either he or Jodie or the other floosie (Pete) are for the chop, so you'll get rid of one of them

The New Dutchman said...

Fact: the Ordinary Boys took their name from the song "The Ordinary Boys" from Morrissey's first solo album Viva Hate.

Polarbear said...

Poor old Mozza. I listened to a few of their songs on their website. They are rubbish.

The New Dutchman said...

no way, songs like "Everday is like Sunday", "The World is Full of Crashing Bores" or "All the Lazy Dykes" prove that Morrissey is ever so relevant. (Especially that last song should appeal you at Mercedes-Benz ;) )

Polarbear said...

well yes but they are mozza songs, and i was saying the ordinary boys are shite .... not mozza

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