Swiss Cheese

I thought that was all they we're famous for.!!!!
Not for silky moves and swift forward passes.
But no they have to upset our move on the UEFA cup.
Well let me tell you Basel , or Baaahthelll however you pronounce it
we will give you a game at the Riverside, even if you do kick our asses over the 2 legs.

Anyway bring it on. What can we lose.

I arrive at the pub 30 mins late and within 10 mins we are 2-0 behind.
Why did i go i out?

Probably to show my allegiance to the Boro. And we didn't do that bad, but it was annoying to watch. The Swiss were way too good. I hope with a less slidy pitch our boys can show some form next time. 1 week to wait and three goals at least to score. Not easy but hey It's the Boro and this season we have surprised the best teams so I'm not giving up yet.

Great Lyrics of our time

Jim Moir (aka Vic Reeves) & Sir Bob Mortimer
"Farmyard Shite" & "I've got a new hoover"

Farmyard Shite

I am gonna to Hollywood,
I am, I'm gonna be a big star,
my name in lights and stretched limosine,
a house in Beverly Hills you know what I mean,
I'm gonna be a great big movie star.

You are talking out of your arse son,
you can't appeal to anyone,
you sit around in your grubby little pants,
with your packet of biscuits and a pen in your hands,
that is when your hand isn't down your grubby little pants.

You'll see, nobody can stop me,my name is going down in history.
You write all your letters to MGM,
on your exercise book with your booky's pen,
nobody in Hollywood will be receiving them.

Why has nobody been receiving them?
Has someone, someone been diverting them?
Yes it was me, I broke into your flat,
and nicked all your letters from your Scooby Doo bag,
then buried them under a pile of farmyard shite.

to listen to this work of art click here

I've got a new hoover

I've got a new hoover, what do you think of it?
I've got a new hoover, I'm over the moon with it.
It's got what can only be described as a headlamp on the front,
adjustable height and a low maintenance filter.

I sold him that hoover, it's a pile of shit,
I sold him that hoover, what's left of it.
It couldn't suck off a fly from your carpet if it tried,
and the low maintenance filter, I lied.

So it's useless is it?
Yep.
Well can I have my three hundred quid back?
No, I've spent it Vic.
What on?A new hoover of course.

Do you still love me?
Yes, I suppose so
Are you still angry?
Well, just a little
Well you should thank your lucky stars
I didn't make you pay a delivery charge.

to listen to this work of art click here

Roma wasn't conquered in a day

Boro v AS Roma

Boro's biggest ever tie in Europe tonight, taking on the mighty Romans. Unbeaten in 12 matches in Serie A. And now a trip to the Riverside.
Bring it on.....

12 mins: Penalty Yakubu 1-0

FT: Boro 1 Roma 0

Bring on the Olympic stadium in Rome.

Maastricht - Irish publess

When I arrived in Maastricht on my first day I was travelling from Luxembourg. I was rudely stopped by the police as I was just about to arrive at the entrance of the city. After watching the Amstel Gold Race pass I was allowed to continue to my destination. My first disapointment with Maastricht was that it was 'Irish Publess'.

{aside - the winner of the Amstel Gold that year was Mauro Gianetti - I watched the race every year since usually madly following it by car and seeing not much, apart from in 2001 when Erik Dekker beat Lance Armstrong in the final stretch on the Maasboulevaard. I had a finishing straight seat at my company and afterwards a very 'pissed off' Lance, whose team bus was directly below us entered his bus in that wierd way that cyclists walk after 250Km.}

Anyway so back to the point, why did a lovely multicultural city like Maastricht not have any Irish pubs?. Luxembourg had at least 4 Irish/English pubs. There was Scotts, Pygmalion, the White Rose and The Britannia.

About two years later my parents came over for a visit and on the day they arrived the first Irish pub in Maastricht opened, The Shamrock. Though how it was called an Irish pub at the time was beyond me. No Guiness, only Heineken and told by the brewery that they couldn't serve Guiness as they didn't look like an Irish pub.

A couple of years later 2 more English pubs opened both on the Markt, the Bensons and the other i don't remember the name but it changed after 2 or three years to a dutch bar.

Then came the Murphys a proper Irish pub but the most unsucessful and finally the John Mullins

Going back to my roots

I've been delving into the world of geneology this week, sparked off by an email from a 2nd cousin or something or other. I listed my family tree on http://www.genesreunited.co.uk, a family tree site which was set-up after the success of the infamous http://friendsreunited.co.uk. aside - [i still kick myself that in the early days of the internet I had started a site that should have given me the idea of friendsreunited - 3 years before they even started. I could have retired by now - the rich buggers]

So anyway, 3 years later and i have had almost 20 responses to my tree; all not matches. But 2 days ago a relative who had perfect matches (his granfather being my grandfather's brother) emails me and ke-bang. It works. So i relighted the fire of interest and contacted my dad, brother (who has researched it more than me). None of my family knew of this person's existance , even though his mother lives in my home town. But there again my grandad was one of 15 children. My Greatgrandfather had obviously not heard of the concept of conreceptives!.

So after a phonecall to my brother who has been beavering away very secretively on our family history, he tells me he can send me all he know about our family in a '.gedcom file'. How convenient that you can package almost 200 years of history up in a file extension. And after downloading a family tree software from http://www.rootsmagic.com/ I had the fruits of his labour in front of me.

The shocking part was, looking at a 'pedigree view' as they call it you can see in almost an FA Cup style table where your blood comes from. Obviously I knew my mum and dad, but most shocking i didn't know the names of my Mother's parents, nor their parents. My 'bro' had managed to find all 8 of my great-grandparents of whom i knew the name of 2. And 11 of my great-great-grandparents of whom i knew 2 also.

So what now ........ Is this something i want to pursue. Yes definitely, especially on my mother's side of which I knew little. Apparently their was Scottish blood there 3 generations back and that can't be bad for those pissed conversations with Scots in bars. "Hey laddie don't call me an english twat!, I'm half Scottish me!"

So now i have to update my tree on genes-reunited and hope that more relatives come to the fore. Already 2 in one week, I'm sure i will soon find I'm related to the Queen or Les Dawson or maybe even someone special like Sean Connery.

So here I am the produce of the "Wades", "Plummers", "Ludleys","Dawsons","Patersons","Campbells","Bryans" and the "Langhams". Just who do I think I am?.

SNOW!!!

It's March for god's sake, snow freezing my nuts off!