£1,000,000 bargain

Pure Shart from Banksy

There is a 'Banksy' wall painting up for sale on the Potabello Road on ebay.

I just bid £5,600 for it but was immediately outbid to£5,700. I am tempted to take it further.

Oh go on let's see what happens. £5,800 and it goes to £5,900. Not surprising when the 'buy-it-now' price is £1,000,000. Graffiti gone mad this is. If this wall daubing sells for more than £10,000 then I am going to start spraying the streets of Maastricht next week.

He must be pissing his pants. But there again making millionaires by graffiting people's front doorsteps I guess they aren't complaining.

Oh crap I can't stop £6,500 and still outbid. I must stop now before I don't get a higher bid.

I asked the seller how it was to be delivered and this is the reply.

"Dear Sir, It is a brick and concrete wall with an out layer and an inner layer Whether just the outer layer can be removed practically is a question I dont know the answer to. It would be the buyers responsibility to find out exactly how best to remove it in one piece. I have been told there is more than one way to do it, and before you bid I would advise you get a proffesional to look at it and quote you. Any assistance you need for this we'll be happy to help. Kind Regards"

Sylvia Geersen

I was flicking through the music channels this afternoon when I came across a talented young lady on the TMF's (the Music Factory) "Oranje" show. This is broadcasting Dutch music which at it's best is not great. But Ms Geersen obviously has 'talent'. If it is in the musical side of things I am not so sure.

Sylvia was runner up in the 1st 'Holland's next top model' beaten by Sanne Nijhof.

Sanne Nijhof

According to Wikipedia who wrongly list her name as Sylvia Geertsen, after being on the show she signed with Next Model Management in New York, as well as a bevy of agencies around Europe.

Anyway here is her wonderful work 'Give it to me!'

Lizzie's Wall

Middlesbrough amateur photographer, Jason Hynes, had one of his photographs selected for the new Tate Britain's exhibition; How We Are: Photographing Britain.


Photo of a wall and a door

Jason describes his photo ('Lizzie's Wall') : "The image is from a series about how we all change and progress in life and I chose the image for the competition because I think it conveys a sense of longing. Whether it be for the good or the bad Britain is, culturally and economically, constantly changing and developing. I feel my photograph freezes this evolution and holds the viewer in a place and time that is safe and comfortable but the imagery contained within the photograph, the door, the blossoming fruit, and the shaft of light, show that growth and change is inevitable and constant. "

Mondriaan

With all the art dealers in town I thought I might try and palm off a painting as an original. I have tried doing a Mondriaan before without much success but this time I was assisted by a great tip from none other than Boro lass Kirsten O'Brien on the SMART programme.


Black, Yellow, Red and Blue on canvas 15"X12" £59,999-

Molly Ringwald's character (Andie) in "Pretty in Pink" prominently
displays three Mondrian paintings in her room.

The Leonids, Shart & a £17m Apple Tree

The Orionids dissapointed but the Leonids are on the way

Last Month the Orionids meteor shower was a little dissapointing as clouds obscured the skies, but this month we will be treated to another chance for fireworks when the 'Leonids' shower will arrive.

The Leonids should peak around the 17th with 10-15 meteors per hour, but can be seen from now until the 21st. The meteor storm is associated with the comet Tempel-Tuttle, which has a 33 year cycle. In a good year thousands of meteors have been seen per hour.


From Erik Arnesen, Oslo: A critical Look at our Godless Society (1913) inspired by a Leonids shower

Shart

I was once told that the definition of 'Shart' is most aptly explained by the sound of 'shart rockers' "The Fisticuffs". The Turd Dictionary defines it as 'Poop that is emitted when you fart. Often an accidental occurance'.

My definition today was inspired when I had to walk past several art exhibits in my workplace by a local artist. I do often enjoy modern 'random colours on canvas' but these paintings left me more than unispired to get out my paint brush and start splattering. The only saving grace of the exhibition is that someone allowed the artist to recreate a painting on a brand new E-Class which adorns our reception.


£60,000k to Scrap-Yard fodder in 2 days.

From Shart to over priced apple trees

On the other end of the art spectrum, an art auction fetched a record breaking £255m in New York yesterday. One of the paintings on sale was Gustav Klimt's 'Apple Tree I'. the painting looks surprisingly similar to one of the 'Sharts' gracing the office walls. But selling at £17.2m I guess it must be superior.

Klimt was an Austrian artist born in 1862 who was often critiscise for the 'pornographic' nature of his paintings. He was comissioned to paint three works for the Great Hall in the University of Vienna, but due to their erotic nature they were never exhibited. The 3 paintings were destroyed by the retreating SS in 1945. (A likely story - please see 'Allo Allo' episodes 1-42 {or rather not}).


Herr Otto flick and Olga , the erotic element of the sitcom 'Allo Allo'