World Darts Event

On Saturday and Sunday I waddled off down to the MECC round the corner to watch some arrars. It was tremendous fun and got to see, talk to and even play some of the big darts stars.

The Qualifying rounds were played on a lanes of darts boards (100 of them). And you could get very close to the action. Most of the fans wanted to follow Jelle Klaasen and Michael van Gerwen, who were playing together in the doubles. So if you wanted to watch others you get get a good view.

Tony Eccles from the 'Boro' and his partner Pieter Otten were drawn against Jelle and Micheal in the last 16 and I saw them knock out the two Dutch upstarts. I got some funny looks from the locals when I was cheering them on.

It was quite bizzare to see how the players are treated. They get treated like pop stars. Being chased for fotos and signatures.

I managed to give Pieter Otten a game later on when he wanted to practise and as the organisers had removed all the marker pens I taught him 'Round the Clock'. He got to 14 before he missed a number. Needless to say I lost and made my excuses that i was going to watch the Final before further humiliation.


Bob ' the Bear' Taylor takes 20 mins to get to the bar under a constant barage of kiddies 'Pick me up Bob!!!!'

Ted 'the Count' Hankey and John 'Boy' Walton won the doubles competition. The first day there was quite a few 'cock-ups' and the big screens weren't even working for the podium matches at the end. And it's not that easy to see if you hit the double when your 100 metres away.

Before I left I had an embarrasing moment with Mervyn King.
me: "Hey Good win Ted" (thinking he was Ted Hankey)
Merv: "You What?!?" ( I then reaslised who it was)
me: "Oh errmm don't you remember me?, we met once in the embassy?"
Merv: "Oh no sorry I don't remember"
me: "Oh never mind seeya"

Day2:
On Sunday we arrived a bit later and missed all the qualifying. We found out later that a lot of the big names had gone out. Hankey lost to some unknown int he first round as did Tony O'Shea.

For the Semis Eurosport had arrived and it was being broadcast live. so we had to go through the rigmarole of a 'warm up man' who made sure we waved the 180 signs at the right times and wrote 'Hello Mum' on the back etc.
The Semis line up was Mervyn King v Niels de Ruiter and Michael van Gerwen v John 'Boy' Walton. King and Gerwen won and following the ladies final the crowd was getting quite excited about seeing Gerwen take on King.


Anastasia Dobromyslova lost to Carla Molema in the ladies final

King is not the most popular darter, especially in Holland. Gerwen walked the final much to King's disgust. At one point he even started doing impressions of Gerwen 'flycatchin' to the camera, and was seen to mouth 'f%&*$ing p$%&k' when Gerwen went to get a glass of water. Talk about sore loser.


Mighty Mike walks away with the cheque for 10,000 Euros.

On the way home I passed a few darts players having a chat, getting some fresh air. Tony Eccles, Tony O'Shea, Gary Anderson and Bob Taylor. Darts seems to be very 'cliquey'. They have little gangs like this lot. The Northerners. So I had a smoke with them and discussed how bad the organisation of the events was. Tony O'Shea told me that it wasn't at all bad for a first time. "You should see the Finland Open. F*&^ing Hopeless". And it seems Tony was more miffed off at having to sit through the Rene Froger concert on Saturday night. 'My word, he was shit!'


Silverback and Rene are said to be no longer on speaking terms

The whole event will be re-run on Eurosport 2 tonight at 21:30

Off Roading it

At work today I was treated to a test drive in the new GL-Class Mercedes. On the trip we did a bit off road to show the fantastic versatility of the vehicle's suspension, ride height and handling that is essential for an off road vehicle.

We let the car do it's stuff on its own as it descended a 45% hill on an angle at 6 km/h. You could hear all the systems jumping into action, while the driver had no feet on any pedals. The car can raise up 25cm in ride height. It can ascend a steep slope at full revs but will compensate for your bad driving ability and suppress your over-zealous acceleration which would produce wheel spin.

All round a great car. And only 90,000 Euros an absolute bargain . And worth it for Mr and Mrs Urquhart when they take the kiddies around the corner to school in Enfield.

GL 320 CDI Euros 90.800
GL 420 CDI Euros 116.800
GL 450 Euros 112.900
GL 500 Euros 124.600

The Orionids are coming

"Coming at yah like Cleopatrah!"

The Orionids meteor showers. Friday night (20th) if you have clear skies you may see many shooting stars if you look to the sky. Up to max of 30 per hour.

Darts decends on Maastricht

Next weekend a huge darts event is going to be held in Maastricht. the 1st time such an event has taken place. This is testemant to the popularity of the sport here in Holland.
The World Darts Event will be hosted by the MECC (Maastricht Expo and Conf Centre) on a 20,000m² floor. As well as darts there will be plenty to see and do, and some major sponsors have enabled a huge prize fund of 46,000 Euros.



Merecedes-Benz neighbour 'MECC'

One of the sponsors, who include, Meerssen Photo Shop, Putters Undertakers, is Passie Magazine who by coincidence I supplied with 6,000 sets of darts flights for them and their sister publication Chick Magazine. (Don't open those links at work!)


Quote from Chick site: "Two girls loving one man or two men pleasing one single lady: It is always double the fun!" - A Quality Publication

The actual darts competiton is open to anyone and gives you the chance to play the likes of Ted 'the Count' Hankey, Gary Anderson, Tony 'the Viper' Eccles, Albertino Essers, Paul 'Crocodile Dundee' Hoogan, Mervyn 'the twat' King, Jelle Klaasen (Embassy Champion 2006) and many more.


Stockton born tony Eccles will be the man to beat from the UK on Sunday

One player who will be there is 17yr old Mike van der Gerwen, who today became the youngest ever winner of a major tournament, winning the World Masters. 'Mighty Mike' or the 'Flycatcher' as I prefer to call him is an extroidanery talent, who seems to show no fear playing live on television against the best darters in the world. So at the moment we have a Dutch world champion 21yr old Jelle Klaasen, and 17yr old Dutch Masters champion. Fellow 'Nederlander' Francis Hoenselaar also took the ladies title in Bridlington yesterday.


Michael Van Gerwen 'catching flies' again

While I was playing competition darts here I predicted that before 2010's decade starts the Dutch would be dominating darts. Ray Stubbs interviewed darting legend Bobby George after van Gerwen's win and asked why the Dutch are doing so well at darts. Bobby ever the intellectual he is, said it is because the Government funds kids to play darts in Holland and they practise it at school.

While this is the absolute truth. I would disagree with the asteemed Mr George and say that it is more to do with the fact that most employers here in Holland insist on at least 2 darting trophies to be listed on a CV before they will consider employing, and also that throughout history in Dutch conflicts the dart has been the weapon of choice.


Bobby George meets his arch enemy Bob the builder. Luvvly Chubbly.

The simple reason is Raymond van Barneveld inspired an entire country to step up to the 'Ochey' in 1998 when he was the first non-British darts player to win the Embassy Trophy.

So next weekend the general public get a chance to play some 'large' darts players. Among the hopefuls are two players who were my team mates in the 'Bensons 1' team I captained. Victor Dassen and Henk Mik. 10,000 Euros is up for grabs for the winner of the competition.

As an extra treat the event has an after-party where Rene Froger will be performing.


Rene Froger, The David Hasselhof of the lowlands

Making Sloe Gin

Today I bought the Gin that will be added to the Sloes from Sunday to make the batch of 'Sloe gin', that will be used to make the 'Sloe Slurps', invented by my Mother, on her forthcoming trip to the Netherlands in November.

Knowledgable people may comment here that Sloe Gin takes three months to make. Correct, but we may be making a few short-cuts.

So the Gin I selected is not actually a Gin but a dutch 'Jenever'. 'Boomsa Pure Graan'. Distilled in Leeuwaarden.


Boomsma have their hands in Glen Talloch's kilt by the looks of it from their website

Gin in the shopping bag, I bought a pickling jar, and my assistant duely pricked the sloes (which had been kept in the freezer for 5 days to simulate the first frost of Winter). The implement used was a wooden toothpick. Fokelore has it that a fork should never be used to prick the sloes unless it is silver. The 'Jenever' was added and 200g of sugar and mix and restin a cool dry place.

The first 2 weeks the jar should be turned each day, then each week until 3 months have passed and a ruby red 'Sloe Gin' will be produced. As we only have 1 month the tactic will be to shake the bugger instead of turning it. Shake me up Judy!

Ooh my Bowns!

Wikpedia says that it is alright to discard the sloes to a compost heap once the liquor is ready. I quote "putting them on your compost heap is good as it gives the blackbirds and robins an unusual thrill in the middle of winter - it does not appear to harm them" Me thinks Bill Oddie and Kate Humble would not be too impressed.



Look they can't fly straight. Another Sloe Slurp Kate?

If you search on Sloe Gin cocktails you will find many on the net but the 'Sloe Slurp', invented by my Mother is a simple beast. This will be the first 'Sloe Slurp' ever to be made using a Dutch Jenever as I will stake my whole litre that sis has used a traditional London Dry. You traditionalist you! (p.s we have to compare them in a pre-dinner aperatif tasting)

1 measure Sloe Gin
4 measures Soda Water
Ice

Slurp away.

The Eigth Hole

This was the most difficult hole I have ever played in golf.

Two dutch old dudes were following me in their buggy, chasing me round a long course, said to me after my first two attempts, "hey did we hear the fishies?" (this was because my balls entered the water)

Tossers!

So I walked down to the point where you could chip on to the green ( after a few failed attempts) and waited at the next tee to see the two 'buggy boys' both sink their balls into the lake (twice).

It is obviously a 'bastard' hole coz they walked straight past the point where you can regain your golf 'prowess'.

It is very interesting playing golf in Holland as they presume for some reason it is an 'elite' sport.
For instance a colleague of mine said that she needed to spend 1/3 of her income for the next 12 months to pass the exams to be able to play golf in Holland and to be a member of her local club this year. It came to 3,000 Euros.

I love walking around they so called elite places, blagging my way on with my UK Handicap card and hitting a sweet drive in front of people who have spent thousands in leasons being told they can't play golf until they have a certificate to do so.

What a load of old bollocks!!!!!!

Golf courses in Holland are mainly full of old todgers who can't play very well, irritated at young'uns who are getting in the way of what they conside a sport for the retired person. And the Dutch wonder why they don't have many good professionals.

For once the UK got it right! Let anyone play a sport and you might find someone good at it. Make it as difficult as possible to play a sport and for sure you will not.

So here is the eighth hole I could have showed you the GWB examination paper instead which lets you play golf in Holland but unfortunately it is 300 pages long.

For once the lesson is don't think too much about something just do it.

Gathering Sloes

With hunting out of my system it is time for the gathering. And we visited the Eijsderbeemden
to gather sloes. Sloe is the fruit of the blackthorn tree 'Prunus spinosa' and of the prune family.
It makes a tasty apertif called the 'sloe slurp'.

To make the drink you need to bath the sloes in generous amounts of gin until the gin takes on the flavour of the sloes add a bit of sugar and 3 months later Bobs your uncle.



Eijsderbeemden

Hunter's Moon

Tonight the moon is full and is known as 'the Hunter's moon' or sometimes 'the blood moon'. It is the first full moon following the 'Harvest Moon' and was named as it was a good night to go hunting by the light of the moon.

Moon Rises @ 17:57hrs it appears in the South
Max Altitude is 48° @ 00:19hrs
Diameter 33.33'
Distance from Earth 358,507 km

There is a movie called Hunter's Moon in 'post-production at the moment -
'The story of four young couples drawn to the remote dunes for off-roading
in their extreme machines. But the outing turns into a night of terror when
they are attacked by the Catcher, a skilled and brutal hunter of human specimens
for alien science. Sounds like one to miss!


Hunter's moon taken by my new telescope with a digital camera through the lens viewer @ 21:15 07/10/2006 over Maastricht The Netherlands

Views from Google Earth #3

A small village 'Wittem' in South Limburg made the front pages this morning because of Google Earth. It seems google earth were informed by the Dutch Ministry of Defense that Wittem is an area of national security and therefore a terroism target.

A young resident of Wittem made the discovery when he was trying to show his Father the tiny village on his computer. 'Aerosat' is the company responsible for adding the blocks to blur the visibility of the satellite imagery. Seems that there was a miscommunication between the Minstry of Defence and the company as to the goings on in Wittem. They have promised Wittem will soon be restored to the map.

In the meantime here it is in it's blurry glory....



The Klooster (Monastery) in Wittem was used as a Nazi HQ during WWII

Where is the nearest local kind sir?

Following the 'lesbian nun' incident in the 7th century, Middlesbrough Borough Councilwas seriously worried about Nunthorpe's reputation. A rumour that the Nuns were preparing to open a liscensed 'knocking shop' forced the council to take action in 695 AD the following announcement was made by Middlesbrough Borough Borough Council.

"From this day no liscensed premises may operate in the ward of 'Nunthorpe' without prior permission from the borough borough council. No exception shall be made unless the premise in question can provide quoit throwing facilities and play a jolly nice game of cricket. And no lesbian nuns!

KEY:
1: Pied Piper
2: Norman Conquest
3: Cross Keys
4: Southern Cross
5: Brunton Arms
6: The Cricket Club
7: Centre of Nunthorpe

Views from virtual Earth part #1

Google Earth is pap outside the centre of Middlesbrough, but there is an alternative powered by BG himself. 'Live Local' So here is Nunthorpe, aka 'Naughty Nunthorpe' or 'Barless'. Later in this blog i will be trying to resolve the argument ...... "where is the closest pub to Nunthorpe?"

Nunthorpe was named so because in the early 6th century a group of Catholic Nuns settled there to flee the Viking tribe of Orme who had just overthrown a nearby settlement, now known as Ormesby. The nickname that is now used 'naughty Nunthorpe' is said to come from the fact that the Nuns would charge the local 'Nunthorpe' village men tuppence ha'penny for a lesbian floordance show when their turnip crop failed in the mid 7th century.

Telescope

I always fancied the idea of buying a telescope but usually decided not to as they were too expensive if you want a decent one and I'd probably end up not using it. So when i was in the local DIY shop and saw one on special offer for 39.95Euros, the price-tag kind of made up my mind.

It is a refractor telescope (focal length 700mm), looks a bit like the one below. I don't know how they manage to retail them at such a low price as these scopes sell at normally 500 and more.
But it works so who cares.















I put the beast together last night, which was more difficult than i expected as it had about 50 parts and Jackson Opticals are definitely not a UK or USA outfit as the instrucions were a little bit dodgily translated....

example: "There lies a mistake conception that it will be better if the magnification is bigger"

The last part of the instruction was to align the viewfinder and the main telescope accurately. So I focused it on a nearby car number plate and used that to sychronise the two.

The car was about nearly a 100m away and I was shocked to be able to read the small lettering from the selling garage under the registration number. I tried taking a photograph to show it but unfortunately it is not as clear as what you could see.









Anyway I am now looking forward to the next full moon and seeing if I can see Armstrongs footprints.

Views from Google Earth #2

Fallowfield

Views from Google Earth #1

Salford Precinct

Match of the Day

This article although factual may contain material of an extremely trivial nature







FA Cup Qualifying 2nd Round:

Marske Utd v Skelmersdale Utd, 15:00

The real minnows of the FA Cup are playing today for a chance to end up in the ping-pong ball bag for the first round proper of the FA Cup. Marske Utd. take on the mighty Skelmersdale Utd.

'Robocop'/Middlesbrough Mayor Ray Mallon has promised to be groundsman for a day for Marske if they can go through to the third round. Not exactly bearing one's arse in Binns window but certainly an incentive to cheer on Marske.

Star Forward David Onions could be the man to pull it off for Marske. Last years leading goalscorer won't be intimidated by Skelmersdale with experience at Guisborough Town FC and Northallerton.

Marske will be hoping to break this season's record attendance of 161 from the preliminary round of qualifying where a 'rampant' Onions scored a hat-trick to bury Brigg Town.

The 'Seasiders' manager, 'ex-copper' and former Boro player Charlie Bell will be hoping for a win at the Mount Pleasant ground this afternoon otherwise to honour Mayor Mallon's bet he will be spending a day sweeping roads in Middlesbrough for his former boss.















Marskes "state of the art" stadium on Mount Pleasant Road may be stretched if attendance today tops the '200' mar'k

First Gig

Like your first record 'Theme from Monkey' (BBC records) or first LP 'Zenyatta Mondatta' by the Police I guess everyone remembers their first gig. Mine unfortunately wasn't really cool enough too be called a 'gig'. It was more a 'Rocktacular' or 'Metal-fest'.

The venue was the Redcar Bowl and the band was called 'Magnum'. Birmingham's pomp rock outfit? It was actually quite a good night. Fueled on by halfs of cider we got quite into it, and instead of falling over laughing when the Spinal Tap moments arrived we gasped in amazement.

The lead singer disappeared before one song, then appeared in the spotlight with a angulared mirrored head mask shooting out beams of light in all directions into the crowd. The crowd gasped with delight. Another song was played wearing fruit head masks.











'She should be made to smell the glove'

I left the gig thinking I was going to really get into metal. I was only 13 and I blame it on hormones and leather pants. The metal phase never really came thankfully.

Stangely enough I had been invited to a gig 2 months previously by 3 girls. But I quickly turned them down. 1 - It scared witless the idea to be with 3 girls for a whole day in Newcastle, and 2, I thought it sounded a bit 'gay' going to a concert that would be full of 'teenyboppers' all adoring the blokes in the band. The band was 'Frankie goes to Hollywood'.

Gillette Fusion

A Couple of weeks ago on 'Dragon's Den' one inventor came on with a 5 bladed razor which was quickly thrown out as absurd. I was quite shocked by this decision as as anyone who has closely followed the revolution that is 'disposable razor technology' will know........

Simple equation is
New Technology = Old Technology + 1 blade.

Gillette are currently launching the Fusion disposable razor with 6 blades. 5 on the front and one on the back for 'those tricky places'. Yes Mr Gillette it is difficult to shave tricky places with a razor that is as wide as a football pitch.

Apparently the sales of the 'Fusion' haven't been that good so far , so John Consumer may be rebelling. Enough is enough. I think Gillette's next product may be the four bladed razor.

Gillette Quatroplex. Because 5 blades was too much , we taken the complexity out of shaving with 'Quatroplex'!

The 'Kirk'

The Kirk or Kirklevington Country Club as it was officially called was a club run by the brothers 'McCoy' in Kirklevington. A tiny village about 10 miles outside Middlesbrough. Not an easy place to get to if one intended on drinking as no buses ran after 11pm.

When we first started frequenting the Kirk in our mid-teens we thought it was the coolest place on Earth. We also found out that some of our parents also went to the Kirk and also thought of it as the place to go.

The Kirk was the only club we knew in Middlesbrough that played indie music at the time, and we would sip our pints around the outskirts of the dance floor ready to run on as soon as The Smiths, New Order or Joy Division came on.

It was the highlight of the week. And budgeting began on Monday if we planned to go on Friday. Occaisonally unknown local bands played downstairs in the 'Kirk' mostly not that good, but if you search on Google you will find that in its day the Kirk was the place to play for upcoming and established bands.

Jimi Hendrix - Jan 1967
Jeff Beck - Oct 1967
The Animals - Dec 1967
Moody Blues - Feb 1968
Yes - 69
Jackson Heights -1970
Simple Minds 1979
George Melly 1973
Level 42 1981
Mott the Hoople 1970
Ben E King, the Rolling Stones, Rod Stewart, the Small Faces , Chris Rea also played at this small venue.

Unfortunately the Kirk no longer stands in Kirklevington as it was decided to close the club. The McCoy brothers had decided to concentrate on their restaurant businesses 'The Tontine' and 'The Purple Onion'. They were raised in the Masham Hotel, an iconic 'green tiled' building in the centre of Middlesbrough with Marks and Sparks attached to its' side.

So our next generation will never experience the joy of returning home at 2 in the morning, aftertaste of 'dodgy mobile van' kebab in the mouth, and 'Rock the Kasbah' and 'The Passenger' ringing in your ears, and a sore arse from bouncing up and down on the country roads in the 'clapped-out' smelly mini-bus.

And Kirklevington, population 282 will only be known for its unofficial poulation in the HMP Prison

You Tube

You Tube seems to be the fastest growing phenomina in the world of the internet.
I believe that it will become an excellent reference library almost as indespensible as as a 'google' search or a 'wikpeda' listing.

On Sunday my sister bought me a 'Diablo' and after exhausting the only trick I could do I quickly found lots of 'youtube' tutorials on how to perform flabergasting tricks for your mates at your next party. (Still can't do any though).

A recent trend also seems to be to stick a digicam in your car and record a trip through your place of residance. What a waste of Megabytes!

Coupe Aeronautiqe Gordon Bennett

The 'Coupe Aeronautique Gordon Bennet' is a balloon race. Well it's not really a race more a competition as the winner is the hot air balloon that travels the furthest.

First run in 1906 from Paris, the event was organised by Gordon Bennet, an eccentric millionaire newspaper man from New York. 200,000 people turned up to watch the start in Paris. Most teams dared not cross the English channel but the team that did won the event landing in Scarborough on the North East coast.

This year the event is running for the 50th time and starting in Antwerp in Belgium. Rather like the Eurovision Song Contest the winner of the 'coupe' has the honour of hosting the following years event.

At present (10.09.06 12:24 UTC) the 16 competitors are winging their way accross the North Sea heading towards Norway. You can follow their progress live by GPS co-ordinates at the competition website.

Belgium 2 looks like it is going to pass over Middlesbrough. What a treat for the crew. Currrent position is (Team Name: Belgium 2Van Geyte, Luc / Paenen, RudyLast Update (UTC): 2006-09-10 12:03:12Position: N53°59'38" W001°32'47"Flown Distance (km): 495.09) . Putting that into Streetmap.co.uk they are currently passing over Harrogate. The Royal Pump Room Museum to be exact.











Museum in Harrogate used by Royalty though the ages for relief from flatulence
















Germany 3 (Columus V) narrowly misses Middlesbrough instead passing over Skinningrove's Cliffs

Halluçienda

Am i halluçianting? Are there really 41 Haçienda Flyers for sale on Ebay. Why that eBayer must be of his trolly to sell those. And it must have taken him at least two hours to put them all on eBay!. Espeçially when his stupid PÇ kept crashing.

When i first sold a çouple of Stone Roses flyers for 10 quid and upwards, one going for 20, I thought the attraçtion was the Roses, but sinçe realised there is a huge bunch of Faç nutters out there, who foam at the mouth at the thought of anything related to 11/13 Whitworth Street West.

Before I'd managed to finish posting the items I already had 1 bid, 2 email questions and about 10 people watching these items. Even the ones that look like they have been used as beer çoasters.

Any bids are welçome........ Old Paper for sale

Banksy Strikes Again

Paris Hilton's album entered the UK chart at number 29 last week Hundreds of Paris Hilton albums have been tampered with in the latest stunt by "guerrilla artist" Banksy.
Banksy has replaced Hilton's CD with his own remixes and given them titles such as Why am I Famous?, What Have I Done? and What Am I For?

He has also changed pictures of her on the CD sleeve to show the US socialite topless and with a dog's head. A spokeswoman for Banksy said he had doctored 500 copies of her debut album Paris in 48 record shops across the UK.

A spokesman for Virgin Megastores said staff were searching for affected CDs but it was proving hard to find them all. "I have to take my hat off - it's a very good stunt," he added.

Considering that it is very difficult to get hold of this guys 'art', surely these CD's could be fetching 1,000's in years to come. I'm off to ebay now! I'm sure one or two dumb Hilton fans will think they are worthless.

Supermouse

I'm so pleased with my new mouse, bought from the Aldi for 19,99 Euros.
It's got 10 buttons! How many more buttons would you want.
I can't work out what buttons 9 & 10 do yet, but I'm sure I will found out.
I think we are going to be very happy together. When i have finished with him he sits very comfy in his little house. Also due to some kind of amazing radio signal technology he doesn't have a tail.
Thank you ALDI.

James Harries - A Child Prodigy

I was looking at an old VHS video tape i found in the attic yesterday, when I came across an old clip from a TV show ( I think it was 'TheWord'). It was of Child Prodigy 'James Harries' who was taking phone calls from the public. The section of the show was always done like this and normal good natured questions would be posed to the celebs. But on this occasion most callers saw it a good opportunity to take a chunk out of the blonde freak. Watch the clip....sorry about the quality i had to film it off the telly and it may take a short while to download.




If you want to know how James turned out later in life read on

Post it Note Art #1

My good friend and fellow blogger "the Ape" has started a new art movement. - 'Post-it note' art. So I thought I'd give it a bash.

Presenting: Coffee Stain on Child Prodigy (ink/coffee on 3M 'Post-it' Note. 76X76mm)

Where's Redcar beach gone?

When i was back in the UK 2 months ago I went for my usual walk along Redcar beach which is the closest coast to my house. It was a pretty miserable day as you can see. I've been going down there all my life and even went for a swim on Boxing Day one year to raise funds for the brain-washing of Papua New Guinean canibals.

Anyway if you went down to the beach today you wouldn't recognise it.



The set of 'Atonement' a World War II movie set in Dunkirk. Redcar has been chosen to be converted into the set as they knew there would be loads of extras gagging for 50 quid for a day on the beach.

They are using over 1,000 extras and 300 crew are booked into more than 200 hotel rooms across Teesside. The set will contain 45 military vehicles and even a 30m, 75-ton Thames barge boat, lifted onto the beach by crane.

some facts:

1: Keira Knightley and Vanessa Redgrave will surely get to experience a lemon-top from Pacittos.
2: There has been 4 films named "Atonement" previously filmed . All pants.
3: Previous films to feature Redcar beach are God on the Rocks starring Minnie Driver
4: Redcar Beach was also used in 'A Man called Adam's' video "Barefoot in the Head"




A Lemon Top from Pacittos

BA Halts flights to UK

Star Trek = Cobblers

On Saturday, 12th August 2006, Voyager 1 will become the first spacecraft to reach 100 AU from the Sun after 29 years in space.

An 'AU' is an 'astronomical unit' equivalent to the distance from the earth to the sun. 1 AU is equal to 92 955 807 miles or nearly 500 light seconds or 1 / 63,241 light years.

So 29 years in space, and the Voyager is 1 / 63 241 light years away. The nearset star to Earth is Proxima Centauri, a 'red-dwarf' in the "Alpha Centurai" star system. This star is 4.2 light years away . So if the Voyager keeps travelling for another 265,612 years it would reach Proxima Centauri, if it was travelling in the right direction, which it isn't.

P.S 'Voyager 1' is still working suprisingly so maybe in the year 267,618ish we may start to see picture of little green people.

Life Ambition #1

Every since i first played arcade games like Defender, Track and Field, Gorf etc. I always wanted to top the leaderboard for scores. Never did though. I think i once got 4th. Anyway today i managed it . It won't stand for long I'm sure as the game only went online today and only about 100 people have played it so far.















But i took a screen shot for prosterity.












To Play http://www.mousebreaker.com/games/savages/play.php

To see how rubbish that score is now http://www.mousebreaker.com/index.php?page=scoresbest_savages_0

A blast from the past.......

419 Eater

Scamming the Scammer - or 419 Eater.

A 419'er is a name for these guys who send out those annoying emails about the millions of USD they have tied up in Nigeria. I once tried this myself but didn't get far, as i cacked my pants when i realised I would have to give out my work fax number to try to reel him in.

Well never mind as there is people out there who dedicate their spare time (more likely work time) to frustrate and waste these scammers' time.

Maybe the next stage will be to try this with spammers of Viagra and Penis enlargement.

Anyway here is the story of 'John Boko' of the "Ivory Coast". Who wasted almost two months of his time and money trying to scam an imaginery arts scholarship from Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter. He obviously doesn't get BBC comedy repeats in the Cote d'Ivoire.

Read on.......

http://forum.419eater.com/john_boko.htm

Rooney On the Buses

Posters of a persistent troublemaker are being displayed on the backs of buses to encourage members of the public to keep an eye on him.

The mugshot of Adam Rooney, 20, from Middlesbrough, are accompanied by the conditions of his Asbo, which prohibit him from certain parts of the town.

Ten buses travelling between the town centre and Pallister Park, where Rooney lives, carry the posters.

Anyone who sees him in the prohibited areas can call a police hotline.

Rooney has spoken out against the posters, saying they will harm his chances of getting a job and has asked the police and council to remove them.

But Barry Coppinger, Middlesbrough Council's executive member for community safety and leisure, said the aim of the scheme was to make sure Rooney did not breach the Asbo.
He said: "We've tried the leaflet approach, but we thought putting posters on the backs of buses might be a better way of getting people's attention.

"We want the community to be aware who the troublemakers are."

Sunday Bloody Sunday

122 dead in a Russian plane crash (mainly children),
40 dead in Baghdad in sectarian killings,
4 dead in a domestic slaughter in Newcastle.

But never mind Federer won his 4th Wimbledon title and
Italy won a 4th World Cup they didn't deserve.

Since i have digital television I thought I could have seen a bit more of
the first three events I was trying to see this morning , but had to wait until late afternoon, almost 12 hours after the first to see a detailed report but even that was interspersed with reports of Federer/Nadal and the World Cup.

What is more important Wimbledon, the World Cup Final or the tradegies?

None of the above because one thing will fill the front pages tomorrow and
that is Zidane's forehead.



















"I wanted to go out on a high!"