The More important issues in life - Crisp flavourings

In between writing reports on 'air disasters' I like to turn my mind to more important issues in life.

The flavours of the 'Chipje' (or crisps as they still like to affectionally call them in the UK).

Since my arrival in Holland back in 1994 the adventurous Dutch 'Chipjes' market had explored only 2 flavours. : Plain (Naturel) & Paprika.

But in recent years they have started to follow the English trend into adventurous flavours. I first realised how adventurous they were becoming about 4 years ago when I was invited to a company for an interview which specialised in powdered cheese.

Anyway at this interview I was shown the latest developments in flavours such as Bolognese and Cheese & Onion. And I was asked on my ideas. Of which of course I babbled a whole list of the latest Walkers flavours from the 1980's which received bog-eyed responses. And this the snack industry!!!

The reason for my blog this evening is that finally in the last year or two the 'Dutch snack industry' has finally become a bit more adventurous and tonight I had my first 'Roast Beef and onion" crisps. Lekker! And also on the market there is 'Thai spices', 'Salt & Vinegar', 'Roast Chicken and Thyme', but still no 'hedgehog'.

It is nice to see the Dutch catching up in adding chemicals to their potato snacks but it makes the trips back to the UK less worthwhile.

I think it is time for our superchefs to endorse Paprika and Plain 'organic' {bintje} crisps!.

Rise of the Superchef

Last night BBC2 aired a documentary on the rise of the TV superchef. "The Rise of the Superchef". The show pointed out some of the chefs are suffering from the 'credit crunch'. One in particular Antony Worrall-Thompson who has had to close 4 of his 6 restaurants last month after the holding company AWT Restaurants went into administration.

I felt a little sorry for the carrot-topped double barrelled gastronome until it was later revealed in the programme most of his income comes from book sales and 'brand-slap' products. AWT slaps his 'boatrace' on various kitchenware products, to £700 barbecue grills to an 'environmentally friendly bathroom cleaner and lime scale remover'. His branded products are expected to generate over £60m in sales.

Bathroom cleaner and lime scale remover

Gimme some Reggae Reggae Sauce

Levi Roots aka 'Keith'

Last week on Dragons Den, a potential investment seeker, Levi Roots, walked into the Den playing a guitar and singing a Reggae song about his sauce. "Gimme some Reggae Reggae sauce, so good I named it twice". The dragons looked stunned.

Levi knows his reggae, and knows his 'Jerk' sauce, but unfortunately showed he didn't have a head for figures.

Jerk sauce is a kind of Jamaican barbecue sauce made with all kinds of spices and tomato based. Levi has been selling this sauce with his barbecued meat at the Notting Hill Carnaval. Last year he decided to sell the sauce on its own and he shifted 4,000 bottles.

Inspired by the success he decided to try to go into business and approached a company that may be able to produce the sauce on a larger scale.

Levi told the 'Dragons' that he had a firm order for 4,000,000 bottles but it turned out it was only for 4,000 litres and it wasn't an order but a quote. Normally when a candidate makes an error like that the dragons will spit on them and tell them they are morons and send them on their way. But undeterred by Levi thinking a Kg was equilvalent to 1,000 litres two of the dragons Peter Jones and Richard Farleigh offered Levi £50,000 fro 40% of the company.

Since the airing Levi has been on ITV singing and has been approached by Sainsbury's to possibly stock the sauce and they might even release his song as a product launcher.

Haggis, Neeps and Tatties

My Birthday has always clashed with Rabbie Burns's birthday. So tonight I'm going to forgive the old jock and treat my birthday night guests to a traditional Burns night meal of Haggis, Neeps and tatties.

I collected my specially delivered Haggis yesterday from the English shop (on the third visit of the day - the van was delayed in arrival due to snow in Scotland apparently). Bought two turnips and I'm all ready to go.

In the English shop the owner pulled a face at what goes into a haggis. I had a look on the lable and there are only 5 ingredients listed. Sheep offal is the first one, the rest is all flavourings and a binding ingredient. Standard kebab ingredients then mainly.

The English shop provided the haggis with a 4 page guide to running a succesfully Burns night party. But we have decided to exchange all the pomp and ceremony of toasting the haggis and 'toast to the lassies' etc. with a more up to date post dinner poker tournament.

The 4-page guide also mentions other traditional scottish fayre that is available at the Stonemanor supermarket. "Cock-a-leekie soup" and "Tunnocks teacakes" among the highlights.

Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o' the pudding-race!
Aboon them a' yet tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye wordy o'a grace
As lang's my arm.

The groaning trencher there ye fill,
Your hurdies like a distant hill,
Your pin was help to mend a mill
In time o'need,
While thro' your pores the dews distil
Like amber bead.

His knife see rustic Labour dight,
An' cut you up wi' ready sleight,
Trenching your gushing entrails bright,
Like ony ditch;
And then, O what a glorious sight,
Warm-reekin', rich!

Then, horn for horn, they stretch an' strive:
Deil tak the hindmost! on they drive,
Till a' their weel-swall'd kytes belyve
Are bent like drums;
Then auld Guidman, maist like to rive,
Bethankit! hums.

Is there that owre his French ragout
Or olio that wad staw a sow,
Or fricassee wad make her spew
Wi' perfect sconner,
Looks down wi' sneering, scornfu' view
On sic a dinner?

Poor devil! see him owre his trash,
As feckles as wither'd rash,
His spindle shank, a guid whip-lash;
His nieve a nit;
Thro' blody flood or field to dash,
O how unfit!

But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed,
The trembling earth resounds his tread.
Clap in his walie nieve a blade,
He'll mak it whissle;
An' legs an' arms, an' hands will sned,
Like taps o' trissle.

Ye Pow'rs, wha mak mankind your care,
And dish them out their bill o' fare,
Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware
That jaups in luggies;
But, if ye wish her gratefu' prayer
Gie her a haggis!

Rabbie Burns, 1759-1796

Pot Noodles and Fireworks

Fuel of Britain apparently (I thought that was half a loaf and a packet of crisps)

After dropping the other half off in town for a spot of Christmas shopping I decided to be a devil and visit the English Shop for an unhealthy lunch of a Pot Noodle and a can of Lilt.

My mother used to tell me that Pot Noodles were the work of the 'devil'. It is pretty evil that you have to wait so long to prevent burning your mouth before you can start on them.

Driving back drooling over the oncoming monosodium glutamate fest I passed a large imitation firework outside the local toy shop so decided to go in and purchase the New Year's Eve fireworks. I have left this task till the last minute before and it can be a nightmare in this shop. Literally 100's of people scrambling for the counter. They gut the shop from toys as there is no other way of fitting the hoards in.

So I made a choice for some cheap selection pack from the display then went to ask for them. Only to be told you can't buy any fireworks until the 28th December. This is to prevent kids wandering the streets with 'vuurwerken' for the next two weeks. Oh and don't try and buy them on the 31st as thats a Sunday. It is illegal in Holland to let off fireworks on any other day than the 31st December.

He gave me a brochure and order form and pointed me to the website, where he said I could watch footage of the more expensive items in the brochure. (Not the one I was going to buy).

So I sat down with my 'fuel of Britain' pot and watched the fancy fireworks.

The firework of choice in Maastricht on the 31st December is the chinese firecracker style rolls that you lay on the floor. And for only 50 Euros you can purchase the 'Super Celebration', which has approximately 10,000 bangs. I am planning on buying on of these and then taking back the charred red remains and demanding a refund as we all only counted 9,995.

After finishing the Noodles I had to let the cat in as he was crying at the front door. Some kids had just let off a rocket and it exploded right above his head.

Mindless Entertainment, and a lot of clearing up for the council in the morning

Making Sloe Gin

Today I bought the Gin that will be added to the Sloes from Sunday to make the batch of 'Sloe gin', that will be used to make the 'Sloe Slurps', invented by my Mother, on her forthcoming trip to the Netherlands in November.

Knowledgable people may comment here that Sloe Gin takes three months to make. Correct, but we may be making a few short-cuts.

So the Gin I selected is not actually a Gin but a dutch 'Jenever'. 'Boomsa Pure Graan'. Distilled in Leeuwaarden.


Boomsma have their hands in Glen Talloch's kilt by the looks of it from their website

Gin in the shopping bag, I bought a pickling jar, and my assistant duely pricked the sloes (which had been kept in the freezer for 5 days to simulate the first frost of Winter). The implement used was a wooden toothpick. Fokelore has it that a fork should never be used to prick the sloes unless it is silver. The 'Jenever' was added and 200g of sugar and mix and restin a cool dry place.

The first 2 weeks the jar should be turned each day, then each week until 3 months have passed and a ruby red 'Sloe Gin' will be produced. As we only have 1 month the tactic will be to shake the bugger instead of turning it. Shake me up Judy!

Ooh my Bowns!

Wikpedia says that it is alright to discard the sloes to a compost heap once the liquor is ready. I quote "putting them on your compost heap is good as it gives the blackbirds and robins an unusual thrill in the middle of winter - it does not appear to harm them" Me thinks Bill Oddie and Kate Humble would not be too impressed.



Look they can't fly straight. Another Sloe Slurp Kate?

If you search on Sloe Gin cocktails you will find many on the net but the 'Sloe Slurp', invented by my Mother is a simple beast. This will be the first 'Sloe Slurp' ever to be made using a Dutch Jenever as I will stake my whole litre that sis has used a traditional London Dry. You traditionalist you! (p.s we have to compare them in a pre-dinner aperatif tasting)

1 measure Sloe Gin
4 measures Soda Water
Ice

Slurp away.

Gathering Sloes

With hunting out of my system it is time for the gathering. And we visited the Eijsderbeemden
to gather sloes. Sloe is the fruit of the blackthorn tree 'Prunus spinosa' and of the prune family.
It makes a tasty apertif called the 'sloe slurp'.

To make the drink you need to bath the sloes in generous amounts of gin until the gin takes on the flavour of the sloes add a bit of sugar and 3 months later Bobs your uncle.



Eijsderbeemden

Going to Walk the Dog

I've managed to avoid my local so far through the World Cup. But decided to go tonight.
1: It'll be stress free. We are through.
2: I got turned down a job I applied for today that i really wanted.
3: It's Tuesday and the dog needs a walk.

I don't really have a dog, just my pussy which i play with a lot!. The phrase is from Newcastle (Geordie-Land), where the local brew (Newcastle Brown Ale - or Newcy Brune) got the nickname 'dog' as that was the old fellas excuse to the wife when he wanted to nip doon the pub for a pint.



Anyway so I'm abandoning the sofa for the pub. I have a wierd feeling about watching football int the pub this year. I've been about 10 times to watch Boro UEFA matches and each time I have been the only Boro supporter in the whole place. So at least I won't look like a dick if we score tonight.

I think we do need to win though tonight to avoid the Germans. They must be becoming confident now with 8 goals to their name and 9 points. I was happy to hear though that 5 of those goals are actually scored by Polish. Klose and Podolski.

Anyway my prediction for tonight is England 3 - Sweden 1
Rooney 2 Gerrard 1 and Larsson 1

Maastricht - Irish publess

When I arrived in Maastricht on my first day I was travelling from Luxembourg. I was rudely stopped by the police as I was just about to arrive at the entrance of the city. After watching the Amstel Gold Race pass I was allowed to continue to my destination. My first disapointment with Maastricht was that it was 'Irish Publess'.

{aside - the winner of the Amstel Gold that year was Mauro Gianetti - I watched the race every year since usually madly following it by car and seeing not much, apart from in 2001 when Erik Dekker beat Lance Armstrong in the final stretch on the Maasboulevaard. I had a finishing straight seat at my company and afterwards a very 'pissed off' Lance, whose team bus was directly below us entered his bus in that wierd way that cyclists walk after 250Km.}

Anyway so back to the point, why did a lovely multicultural city like Maastricht not have any Irish pubs?. Luxembourg had at least 4 Irish/English pubs. There was Scotts, Pygmalion, the White Rose and The Britannia.

About two years later my parents came over for a visit and on the day they arrived the first Irish pub in Maastricht opened, The Shamrock. Though how it was called an Irish pub at the time was beyond me. No Guiness, only Heineken and told by the brewery that they couldn't serve Guiness as they didn't look like an Irish pub.

A couple of years later 2 more English pubs opened both on the Markt, the Bensons and the other i don't remember the name but it changed after 2 or three years to a dutch bar.

Then came the Murphys a proper Irish pub but the most unsucessful and finally the John Mullins