Silly emails

I tried to register with a UK betting company today not to place a bet but to watch some live darts. And to watch the live stream you had to be registered. Whilst registering I noticed that 'Netherlands' was not an option in the drop down list so I chose Belgium as the nearest country.

I later received a mail explaining why this was.

"Unfortunately, we are unable to accept bets from customers who are registered in the Netherlands and for this reason we have had to close your account.
The reason for bet365 not accepting bets from the Netherlands is that the Dutch monopoly lotto won a case against Ladbrokes in the Dutch courts. The Dutch court held that Ladbrokes were operating illegally under Dutch law accepting bets over the internet from Dutch customers, despite the fact Ladbrokes operate from the UK. However, this is being challenged in both the European and Dutch courts and we are very hopeful that the decision will be eventually overturned. When the case is finally completed we will re-evaluate our position and hope to welcome Dutch customers back to bet365.
To let you know, we are now offering Best Odds Guaranteed on every horse race every day. Just remember to take the price and if the SP is bigger we will pay you out at the bigger odds! You can find out more information by selecting 'Offers & Promotions' from our home page.

The bet365 Team"

I loved the way they explain why you can't use their services but then continue to tell you what fantastic offers they have that you can't use.

How much for your chuddy

The Schmidt 'Hot Jet' Chuddy destroyer

I watched a documentary tonight about 'chuddy'. Wrigleys owned 98% of the market in the UK till Cadburys decided to get in on the deal. And with the release of "Trident Splash" they have quickly cornered a 15% chunk of the market. Wrigleys are not that 'bovvered' though as the chuddy sales have also increased by 15% since it's launch 6 months ago.

The documentry showed the Wrigley's PhD doctor emphasing the health bonuses of chewing a petro-chemical product. Helps with mastication, aiding dental care, helps with mental awareness. etc. etc. No wonder Sir Alex Ferguson is a staunch user of the product.

The documentary went on to tell of the hidden costs of a piece of 'Chud'. Most local councils are having to invest in a peice of German hardware to clean the streets from 'post-masticated chud bombs'. This vehicle costs £100,000. Plus it doesn't do the job properly so council employees are having to follow it around with high pressure water machines to clean up the rest of the gum.

It has been estimated that 80% of chewed gum is left on the streets. Chewing gum was brought to the UK by our American friends during the war. I think we should go back to our original chew of choice the Liquorice-root. I recently went into a dutch health shop to purchase a few sticks and they cost 20 Euro-cents. They last a lot longer than Cadbury's 'Splash'. Also they don't require any German Hardware.

The Cadburys company has launched a big advertising campaign to help it's attack on Wrigleys. The marketing 'bods' came up with the phrase 'Mastication for the Nation'. But they do have a banner on the bottom of their site promoting 'Resposable Mastication', i.e Put your Petro-chemical based product in the Petro-chemical based bin liner so our Petro-chemical vehicles can despose of them properly in a land-fill site.

Sky at Night

“At my age I do what Mark Twain did. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if I'm not there I carry on as usual.”

With so much cabbage on the TV these days you would have thought that the BBC would celebrate the 50th anniversary of 'The Sky at Night'. Presented by Patrick Moore in all that time bar 1 programme. But they have decided to put it on at 1.50am on Monday morning.

Scene at the BBC:
Programmer: "Oh that Sky at night , Noone watches it do they?. How come it has lasted 50 years?"
Ashlucher: "Yes indeed Miss lob it in with See Hear and the OU programmes"
Programmer: " Ah Glad you agree coz that wierd baldy bloke rang me up and complained you know!"
Ashlucher: "Oh you know best Miss, What's 50 years! anyway. I'm off to catch up on Celebrity Big Brother."

The fact is that it has been going for 50 years because it has a huge loyal audience. Not down to the xylophone playing Mr Moore but more in it has been the only programme on TV to cover the subject of astronomy. It might have had a bigger audience but it has always been scheduled at a ridiculous time.

I'm going to try and stay awake to watch. 2.50am over here, but i will probably not make it as usual. Instead of interviewing Piers Sellers they should have got Jade on.

Gillette Fusion

A Couple of weeks ago on 'Dragon's Den' one inventor came on with a 5 bladed razor which was quickly thrown out as absurd. I was quite shocked by this decision as as anyone who has closely followed the revolution that is 'disposable razor technology' will know........

Simple equation is
New Technology = Old Technology + 1 blade.

Gillette are currently launching the Fusion disposable razor with 6 blades. 5 on the front and one on the back for 'those tricky places'. Yes Mr Gillette it is difficult to shave tricky places with a razor that is as wide as a football pitch.

Apparently the sales of the 'Fusion' haven't been that good so far , so John Consumer may be rebelling. Enough is enough. I think Gillette's next product may be the four bladed razor.

Gillette Quatroplex. Because 5 blades was too much , we taken the complexity out of shaving with 'Quatroplex'!