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Cosmos 1544 Moon Fly-by

I was bored this early evening so was looking on the fantastic Heavens Above Website to see what else is interesting to see apart from the old Iridum Flares. They also show all the over flying satellites which don't flare as such but are just very visible. I remember when I was young seeing these slow moving stars in the skys and having many discussion about what they were.
I think we decided they were comets.


So I picked an easy one to spot. Cosmos 1544 as it was bright with a magnitude of -'4.4'. For the un-nerdy out there.

Examples of magnitude values for well-known objects are;
Sun -26.7 (about 400 000 times brighter than full Moon!)
Full Moon -12.7
Brightest Iridium flares -8
Venus (at brightest) -4.4
International Space Station -2
Sirius (brightest star) -1.44
Limit of human eye +6 to +7
Limit of 10x50 binoculars +9
Pluto +14
Limit of Hubble Space Telescope +30






Satellite Mag Time Alt Dir Peak Alt Dir Leaves Alt Dir
Cosmos 1544 Rocket 4.4 18:46:22 10° S 18:50:43 56° E 18:51:12 52° ENE


The Sky chart said it would be passing right by the moon which we can clearly see from the back garden at the moment so thought it would be an easy one to choose. And right on queue Mr Cosmos 1544 turned up.

Cosmos 1544 was launched into orbit on March 15th 1984 by Tsylkon 3 from the : Plesetsk launch site in Russia. It takes 96.80 mins to circumnavigate the globe.






Tylskon 3


Plesetsk Launch Site Russia.

Potter to join forces with Malfoy?

Yesterday the results of the general election were announced here in Holland. The Prime Ministers' party the 'CDA' (Christian Democrats) won but without a significant majority for government so they will have to negotiate with more than one of the other parties to form a coalition with 76 seats of the 150 needed to control the 'Tweede Kamer', (House of Representatives - UK House of Parliament).

I presume the CDA will be getting into bed again with the VVD but that will only make 63 seats leaving 13 more to lok for. Whatever happens the Dutch are going to end up with such a fragmented government that I can't see any voter being that impressed. "That's not what it said on the packet!"

My Suggestion: (seeing how I'm not allowed to vote after living here for 12 years) The CDA stick with the VVD , join up with the 'Christian Union' and the 'Party for animals' taking them to 71 seats. Then the master stroke. We all know Prime Minster, Jan Peter Balkenende, is know as 'Harry Potter', well the 'Party for Freedom' leader, Geert Wilders, will soon be known as 'Draco Malfoy'. So keep your enemies close to you Harry and get the Slythrin on board.

Harry Potter - Dracos Malfoy



Jan Peter Balkenende - Geert Wilders

Good Cop, Bad Cop

The CEO of Ebay, Meg Whitman, kindly sent me a certificate this morning to mark my arrival into the eBay community. So kind. Little did she know, the same hour, I also received a email from the accounts department saying my eBay account had been blocked for further usage due to an unpaid invoice of £10 which had been open for a month.

The reason I haven't paid the invoice is that Paypal, eBays preferred method of payment have also blocked my account for depositing money to Ladbrokes. Paypal have told me this is forbidden but still it states on Laddies website that they accept paypal payments.

I have been now busy for 1 month trying to resolve the paypal problem, by faxing bank statements, copies of passports, etc to the USA, to convince them my £20 transfer was not the act of espionage.

Maybe rather than a certificate of celebrating 100 sales on eBay I should be given a EAIT certificate. Commendation for Enduring the Actions of Intolerable Twats.

I love t'internet me!

Runway Incursion

This picture is not relevant just thought it was jolly nice

I received a terrifying press release today to place on my 'other' website. It was concerning a runway incursion in Chicago in July this year involving a B747 and a B737. Since the worst ever aviation disaster in 1977 in Tenerife caused by a runway incursion lots of thought and innovation has been put into systems to avoid 2 aircraft being on the same runway at the same time.

Ground Movement Radars, Enhanced Surface Markings Project. There is currently a new project to develop a lighting system that will light the runway red should a runway incursion beome a possibility so the pilot will at least ask the control tower 'should i really be taking off?'.

At Chicago O'Hare they have some systems to help controllers detect incursions but on the day in question the most important one was not working and even so experts have said it would not have prevented a collision in this incident. Unfortunately you can never stop human error with all the systems in the world. A disaster was only prevented by the pilot rotating the B737 earlier than normal to avoid colliding with the aircraft that had just landed and was basically on the runway in front of him. They missed eachother by 35ft. (equivalent to 5 tallboys).

The most surprising thing about the video of this incident is the real voice recording of the pilot. I would have imagined his heart was in his mouth , but instead he casually replies to the screaming controllers "STOP STOP STOP!" with a cool as you like "don’t worry we got him".

Nunthorpe School produces Miss Great Britain - Preeti Desai

Miss GB 2006

Preeti Desai was crowned Miss Great Britain at the weekend. Preeti, a 24 year old stunner, from Guisborough was a former Nunthorpe School pupil. If it wasn't for Teddy Sheringham, Preeti would have never won the coveted title.

Sheringham, the 40 year old 'veteran' striker saw fit to award his maximum 12 points to Miss Warrington, aka Danielle Lloyd, a 23 year old shapely beauty from Liverpool. The problem was that the ageing football star forgot to reveal he was dating the scouse stunner.

Eventually she was stripped of her crown and the voting was re-staged with our Boro 'knock-out' topping the totty league table. Well done Preeti!

Check out her myspace site Is that the real Mark Schwarzer leaving her a message on the 12th October?


Miss GB 2006. Cheers Teddy Boy!

Broadsword calling Danny Boy

'Do you actually have a broad 'sword' Dicky?'......"Oh yes!, just ask Liz"

For almost a year now we've had digital TV, offering a wide range of channels for your viewing pleasure. The main reason I signed up for it was BBC3 and BBC Prime. BBC3 at the time was showing comedies 6 months prior to them being released on terrestrial TV in order to seduce the UK public on to digital. But as it seemed to succeed they are not doing this anymore so BBC3 is now a "oh bugger I missed that and we don't have a HDD in our DVD player so we can catch the repeat on BBC3" channel.

BBC Prime on the other hand is a godsend. Gone are the days of watching crappy daytime TV. With Prime you can catch My Family, 2.4 Children, Only Fools and Horses, Casualty repeats every afternoon. My afternoons are no longer fuelled by improving my knowledge of property vaules or how collectable a Two-handled Jubilee Mug is.

Along with Hustler tv another channel I Never watch is TCM (Turner Classic Movies) . A movie channel that serves up American crappy movies mostly. But this afternoon they treated us to Where Eagles Dare. Richard Burton and Clint Eastwood defeating the Germans on their todd.

Tomorrow TCM will be treating us to a small independent movie from India titled 'The Crazy Street'. X-Box are rumoured to be making a new game inspired by this short film.

Here's a clip

The Leonids, Shart & a £17m Apple Tree

The Orionids dissapointed but the Leonids are on the way

Last Month the Orionids meteor shower was a little dissapointing as clouds obscured the skies, but this month we will be treated to another chance for fireworks when the 'Leonids' shower will arrive.

The Leonids should peak around the 17th with 10-15 meteors per hour, but can be seen from now until the 21st. The meteor storm is associated with the comet Tempel-Tuttle, which has a 33 year cycle. In a good year thousands of meteors have been seen per hour.


From Erik Arnesen, Oslo: A critical Look at our Godless Society (1913) inspired by a Leonids shower

Shart

I was once told that the definition of 'Shart' is most aptly explained by the sound of 'shart rockers' "The Fisticuffs". The Turd Dictionary defines it as 'Poop that is emitted when you fart. Often an accidental occurance'.

My definition today was inspired when I had to walk past several art exhibits in my workplace by a local artist. I do often enjoy modern 'random colours on canvas' but these paintings left me more than unispired to get out my paint brush and start splattering. The only saving grace of the exhibition is that someone allowed the artist to recreate a painting on a brand new E-Class which adorns our reception.


£60,000k to Scrap-Yard fodder in 2 days.

From Shart to over priced apple trees

On the other end of the art spectrum, an art auction fetched a record breaking £255m in New York yesterday. One of the paintings on sale was Gustav Klimt's 'Apple Tree I'. the painting looks surprisingly similar to one of the 'Sharts' gracing the office walls. But selling at £17.2m I guess it must be superior.

Klimt was an Austrian artist born in 1862 who was often critiscise for the 'pornographic' nature of his paintings. He was comissioned to paint three works for the Great Hall in the University of Vienna, but due to their erotic nature they were never exhibited. The 3 paintings were destroyed by the retreating SS in 1945. (A likely story - please see 'Allo Allo' episodes 1-42 {or rather not}).


Herr Otto flick and Olga , the erotic element of the sitcom 'Allo Allo'

Don't go in the House

in honour of the recently re-united Captain Cakeshop

When I was at University me and 2 other renegades (the Ape and Captain Cakeshop) chipped in 20 quid each to buy an outdated VHS player to fill our dull evenings at Larch Court with video entertainment from our local (very pants) video rental store.

We quickly realised that it was possible to use a microphone to record music or voices on to tapes and soon we being the 'pranksters' that we were decided to abuse crap horror movies from the afore-mentioned store.

One in particular was the movie 'Don't go in the house' . Apart from the Cinematographer 'Oliver Wood' this seems to be the only or last film of almost the whole cast's career. So I don't feel at all guilty that we spoiled the film for future rentals by whispering 'Don't go in the house' at various points of the film.

After random sabotage, I decided to use this facility to make short videos to music by using clips from music vidoes and reportages of the music scene we were into at the time.

If youtube was around at the time I'm sure i would have been on uploading these videos.
Alas it wasn't so now it is I decided to have a bash at vidoe editing again this afternoon. It took me an hour so don't expect anything 'Oliver Wood' quality as I only had 4 video clips on my camera.

I present for your delectation 'Please Please Please', created and inspired by my recent refutation by my employee for another position.

Name that Moon in one

OK. Here's a challenge. The moon was lighting up the sky early this evening and temptingly sitting in view from the 'back gard' so I got the old telescope out to have a quick peek. The moon is in its 'first quarter'. When the moon has a shadow like it does now it seems to accentuate the features close to the shadow. And at this point in the moons phases a very large crater at the top stands out.

So the challenge is name that crater.

My pic is not that great ...again!. But it is clear enough.

Zendens shirt

I went to Akkies Bar in Maastricht last night which is next door to ex-Boro Boudewijn Zenden's families' gym. Proudly standing behind the bar was a Boro shirt signed by Zenden. I had been told by someone about a year ago that the shirt had been replaced by a Liverpool shirt, but following Mr Zenden's lack of appearances the management have decided to put the Boro one up again.


Bench Sitting Fetish

Out in the sticks

Yesterday I had probably the hardest breakdown location in 2 years of working when a chummy yorkshireman rang in with a location near darlo. After asking me where I was he was not too convinced I would find him. "Eye up lad they have ney idee". I tried to convince him by telling him I knew the NYork Moors quite well.

Our man in distress had been picking mushrooms. And a generous lady had brought him back to his house leaving the car in the back and beyond. "Oh it t'was vey kind lark, but she shuddna werry coz im arnly an awl baldy gadgy , ney harm."

After the original distress he started to explain where he was. But it wasn't that easy.

He had been living in the area a long time and had only just found this farm track himself. After 10 minutes I thought i had it. I asked him if he would mind meeting the technician up there....


Only 30 minutes from Darlo

"Nee lad we'll make a dahy of it . Aye'll tahk a picnic liykh and we can hav a game of footy"

Very comic for a 70 yr awld gadge. Anyway I was a bit concerned we would find him so I asked the tech to go and pick him up from him house instead. And after arriving at the so called broken down vehicle it turns out that it wasn't broken down at all. He didn't know how to use the manual key in his electronic key fob and it would have started if he had use it.

As he said "It's a nice day for a trip up the moors like". And so it was for both of them.

After sending the tech into no-mans land (An Army firing range) I was curious to see this so called 'middle of nowhere'. Live local shows it is a bit barren up there. I don't know what the MOD are doing up ther but the land looks a little strange. Tank tracks maybe?, Not the best place to be picking mushrooms.


Mushrooms are not that expensive at Darligtons Morrisons Supermarket.

Following the Ape's blog yesterday, it is not the Brits who are the biggest abusers. Its the Yanks who leave all their TV's on standby. Doesn't help that their fridges needs a small nuclear reactor for power either.


Nice to see that Afghanistan are doing their bit for World conservation

World Darts Event

On Saturday and Sunday I waddled off down to the MECC round the corner to watch some arrars. It was tremendous fun and got to see, talk to and even play some of the big darts stars.

The Qualifying rounds were played on a lanes of darts boards (100 of them). And you could get very close to the action. Most of the fans wanted to follow Jelle Klaasen and Michael van Gerwen, who were playing together in the doubles. So if you wanted to watch others you get get a good view.

Tony Eccles from the 'Boro' and his partner Pieter Otten were drawn against Jelle and Micheal in the last 16 and I saw them knock out the two Dutch upstarts. I got some funny looks from the locals when I was cheering them on.

It was quite bizzare to see how the players are treated. They get treated like pop stars. Being chased for fotos and signatures.

I managed to give Pieter Otten a game later on when he wanted to practise and as the organisers had removed all the marker pens I taught him 'Round the Clock'. He got to 14 before he missed a number. Needless to say I lost and made my excuses that i was going to watch the Final before further humiliation.


Bob ' the Bear' Taylor takes 20 mins to get to the bar under a constant barage of kiddies 'Pick me up Bob!!!!'

Ted 'the Count' Hankey and John 'Boy' Walton won the doubles competition. The first day there was quite a few 'cock-ups' and the big screens weren't even working for the podium matches at the end. And it's not that easy to see if you hit the double when your 100 metres away.

Before I left I had an embarrasing moment with Mervyn King.
me: "Hey Good win Ted" (thinking he was Ted Hankey)
Merv: "You What?!?" ( I then reaslised who it was)
me: "Oh errmm don't you remember me?, we met once in the embassy?"
Merv: "Oh no sorry I don't remember"
me: "Oh never mind seeya"

Day2:
On Sunday we arrived a bit later and missed all the qualifying. We found out later that a lot of the big names had gone out. Hankey lost to some unknown int he first round as did Tony O'Shea.

For the Semis Eurosport had arrived and it was being broadcast live. so we had to go through the rigmarole of a 'warm up man' who made sure we waved the 180 signs at the right times and wrote 'Hello Mum' on the back etc.
The Semis line up was Mervyn King v Niels de Ruiter and Michael van Gerwen v John 'Boy' Walton. King and Gerwen won and following the ladies final the crowd was getting quite excited about seeing Gerwen take on King.


Anastasia Dobromyslova lost to Carla Molema in the ladies final

King is not the most popular darter, especially in Holland. Gerwen walked the final much to King's disgust. At one point he even started doing impressions of Gerwen 'flycatchin' to the camera, and was seen to mouth 'f%&*$ing p$%&k' when Gerwen went to get a glass of water. Talk about sore loser.


Mighty Mike walks away with the cheque for 10,000 Euros.

On the way home I passed a few darts players having a chat, getting some fresh air. Tony Eccles, Tony O'Shea, Gary Anderson and Bob Taylor. Darts seems to be very 'cliquey'. They have little gangs like this lot. The Northerners. So I had a smoke with them and discussed how bad the organisation of the events was. Tony O'Shea told me that it wasn't at all bad for a first time. "You should see the Finland Open. F*&^ing Hopeless". And it seems Tony was more miffed off at having to sit through the Rene Froger concert on Saturday night. 'My word, he was shit!'


Silverback and Rene are said to be no longer on speaking terms

The whole event will be re-run on Eurosport 2 tonight at 21:30

Off Roading it

At work today I was treated to a test drive in the new GL-Class Mercedes. On the trip we did a bit off road to show the fantastic versatility of the vehicle's suspension, ride height and handling that is essential for an off road vehicle.

We let the car do it's stuff on its own as it descended a 45% hill on an angle at 6 km/h. You could hear all the systems jumping into action, while the driver had no feet on any pedals. The car can raise up 25cm in ride height. It can ascend a steep slope at full revs but will compensate for your bad driving ability and suppress your over-zealous acceleration which would produce wheel spin.

All round a great car. And only 90,000 Euros an absolute bargain . And worth it for Mr and Mrs Urquhart when they take the kiddies around the corner to school in Enfield.

GL 320 CDI Euros 90.800
GL 420 CDI Euros 116.800
GL 450 Euros 112.900
GL 500 Euros 124.600

The Orionids are coming

"Coming at yah like Cleopatrah!"

The Orionids meteor showers. Friday night (20th) if you have clear skies you may see many shooting stars if you look to the sky. Up to max of 30 per hour.

Darts decends on Maastricht

Next weekend a huge darts event is going to be held in Maastricht. the 1st time such an event has taken place. This is testemant to the popularity of the sport here in Holland.
The World Darts Event will be hosted by the MECC (Maastricht Expo and Conf Centre) on a 20,000m² floor. As well as darts there will be plenty to see and do, and some major sponsors have enabled a huge prize fund of 46,000 Euros.



Merecedes-Benz neighbour 'MECC'

One of the sponsors, who include, Meerssen Photo Shop, Putters Undertakers, is Passie Magazine who by coincidence I supplied with 6,000 sets of darts flights for them and their sister publication Chick Magazine. (Don't open those links at work!)


Quote from Chick site: "Two girls loving one man or two men pleasing one single lady: It is always double the fun!" - A Quality Publication

The actual darts competiton is open to anyone and gives you the chance to play the likes of Ted 'the Count' Hankey, Gary Anderson, Tony 'the Viper' Eccles, Albertino Essers, Paul 'Crocodile Dundee' Hoogan, Mervyn 'the twat' King, Jelle Klaasen (Embassy Champion 2006) and many more.


Stockton born tony Eccles will be the man to beat from the UK on Sunday

One player who will be there is 17yr old Mike van der Gerwen, who today became the youngest ever winner of a major tournament, winning the World Masters. 'Mighty Mike' or the 'Flycatcher' as I prefer to call him is an extroidanery talent, who seems to show no fear playing live on television against the best darters in the world. So at the moment we have a Dutch world champion 21yr old Jelle Klaasen, and 17yr old Dutch Masters champion. Fellow 'Nederlander' Francis Hoenselaar also took the ladies title in Bridlington yesterday.


Michael Van Gerwen 'catching flies' again

While I was playing competition darts here I predicted that before 2010's decade starts the Dutch would be dominating darts. Ray Stubbs interviewed darting legend Bobby George after van Gerwen's win and asked why the Dutch are doing so well at darts. Bobby ever the intellectual he is, said it is because the Government funds kids to play darts in Holland and they practise it at school.

While this is the absolute truth. I would disagree with the asteemed Mr George and say that it is more to do with the fact that most employers here in Holland insist on at least 2 darting trophies to be listed on a CV before they will consider employing, and also that throughout history in Dutch conflicts the dart has been the weapon of choice.


Bobby George meets his arch enemy Bob the builder. Luvvly Chubbly.

The simple reason is Raymond van Barneveld inspired an entire country to step up to the 'Ochey' in 1998 when he was the first non-British darts player to win the Embassy Trophy.

So next weekend the general public get a chance to play some 'large' darts players. Among the hopefuls are two players who were my team mates in the 'Bensons 1' team I captained. Victor Dassen and Henk Mik. 10,000 Euros is up for grabs for the winner of the competition.

As an extra treat the event has an after-party where Rene Froger will be performing.


Rene Froger, The David Hasselhof of the lowlands

Making Sloe Gin

Today I bought the Gin that will be added to the Sloes from Sunday to make the batch of 'Sloe gin', that will be used to make the 'Sloe Slurps', invented by my Mother, on her forthcoming trip to the Netherlands in November.

Knowledgable people may comment here that Sloe Gin takes three months to make. Correct, but we may be making a few short-cuts.

So the Gin I selected is not actually a Gin but a dutch 'Jenever'. 'Boomsa Pure Graan'. Distilled in Leeuwaarden.


Boomsma have their hands in Glen Talloch's kilt by the looks of it from their website

Gin in the shopping bag, I bought a pickling jar, and my assistant duely pricked the sloes (which had been kept in the freezer for 5 days to simulate the first frost of Winter). The implement used was a wooden toothpick. Fokelore has it that a fork should never be used to prick the sloes unless it is silver. The 'Jenever' was added and 200g of sugar and mix and restin a cool dry place.

The first 2 weeks the jar should be turned each day, then each week until 3 months have passed and a ruby red 'Sloe Gin' will be produced. As we only have 1 month the tactic will be to shake the bugger instead of turning it. Shake me up Judy!

Ooh my Bowns!

Wikpedia says that it is alright to discard the sloes to a compost heap once the liquor is ready. I quote "putting them on your compost heap is good as it gives the blackbirds and robins an unusual thrill in the middle of winter - it does not appear to harm them" Me thinks Bill Oddie and Kate Humble would not be too impressed.



Look they can't fly straight. Another Sloe Slurp Kate?

If you search on Sloe Gin cocktails you will find many on the net but the 'Sloe Slurp', invented by my Mother is a simple beast. This will be the first 'Sloe Slurp' ever to be made using a Dutch Jenever as I will stake my whole litre that sis has used a traditional London Dry. You traditionalist you! (p.s we have to compare them in a pre-dinner aperatif tasting)

1 measure Sloe Gin
4 measures Soda Water
Ice

Slurp away.

The Eigth Hole

This was the most difficult hole I have ever played in golf.

Two dutch old dudes were following me in their buggy, chasing me round a long course, said to me after my first two attempts, "hey did we hear the fishies?" (this was because my balls entered the water)

Tossers!

So I walked down to the point where you could chip on to the green ( after a few failed attempts) and waited at the next tee to see the two 'buggy boys' both sink their balls into the lake (twice).

It is obviously a 'bastard' hole coz they walked straight past the point where you can regain your golf 'prowess'.

It is very interesting playing golf in Holland as they presume for some reason it is an 'elite' sport.
For instance a colleague of mine said that she needed to spend 1/3 of her income for the next 12 months to pass the exams to be able to play golf in Holland and to be a member of her local club this year. It came to 3,000 Euros.

I love walking around they so called elite places, blagging my way on with my UK Handicap card and hitting a sweet drive in front of people who have spent thousands in leasons being told they can't play golf until they have a certificate to do so.

What a load of old bollocks!!!!!!

Golf courses in Holland are mainly full of old todgers who can't play very well, irritated at young'uns who are getting in the way of what they conside a sport for the retired person. And the Dutch wonder why they don't have many good professionals.

For once the UK got it right! Let anyone play a sport and you might find someone good at it. Make it as difficult as possible to play a sport and for sure you will not.

So here is the eighth hole I could have showed you the GWB examination paper instead which lets you play golf in Holland but unfortunately it is 300 pages long.

For once the lesson is don't think too much about something just do it.

Gathering Sloes

With hunting out of my system it is time for the gathering. And we visited the Eijsderbeemden
to gather sloes. Sloe is the fruit of the blackthorn tree 'Prunus spinosa' and of the prune family.
It makes a tasty apertif called the 'sloe slurp'.

To make the drink you need to bath the sloes in generous amounts of gin until the gin takes on the flavour of the sloes add a bit of sugar and 3 months later Bobs your uncle.



Eijsderbeemden